Wonder years

wonder years

The boys finally return from their four dreamy summer weeks on Georgian Bay (Canada) on Friday.

Jeremy and I left them behind a couple of weeks ago, returning home on our own. The time has flown by as busy-ness with work, friends, and various projects–the ones that seem to never get done–have filled our days.

Our major focus though, has been redesigning, painting and organizing the room of a boy who has gone from a child to a teen.

Jesse starts high school in just 6 days. He had his first official job this summer and he earned his first paycheck. He went scuba diving for the first time just this very week. These are some wonder years, truly.

Despite our natural propensity to want to keep him close, we’re making the changes to his room as a symbol of this new stage of his life. We’re acknowledging–with a mixture of wistfulness and excitement–that he’ll be taking more and more independent steps from here on out.

How do we let our eldest child–he who is so beloved–step out onto this new road? How do we let him walk through the big, unfamiliar doors of a school where he will surely be one of the youngest students? How do we simply watch him join the throngs of strangers, trusting that he will capably make his way through uncharted territory?

There is no how. 

We simply do.

We know that we cannot let our anxieties obstruct his eager progress.

This is the natural way of life’s unfolding. This is what God intended for us to experience in the often difficult dance between intimacy and independence.

So I deliberately don’t focus on all of the things that my boys will encounter on a daily basis that I simply cannot control.

I try to trust and hope and let them be them.

After all, they are pretty fantastic.

And yet this is a novice’s attempt at faith and parenting and letting go when compared to the one soon to be faced by my new blogging friend–who just happens to live in Charlotte–Jennifer Richardson.

She writes here, on her blog Ripplespeak, about what would be one of the hardest letting gos a mother could ever face. She calls it “Tending into the Turn:”

~~~~Please wrap this warrior poet in arms bigger than mine
and hold him close to the tender light
and love him whole even in breaking
….. cover him with your bright wings
and bring him home safe to us again~~~~~

Prayers for you, Jennifer.  Prayers and peace across the miles, new friend.

May I have such courage each and every time I too am tending into the turn.


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5 Responses to Wonder years

  1. Jennifer Richardson August 23, 2011 at 8:28 am #

    altogether beautiful share.
    big tender thanks,

  2. Liv @ Choosing Beauty August 23, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    This is beautiful! Makes me appreciate the tender moments I have now with my little men (8 and 3) and aware of all the letting go ahead of me. Such courage it takes to be a mama!

  3. tami August 23, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    ah rachel, it seems you know my heart so well, or is it a bit that we all as women feel this way about change, and our children? Your words really spoke to me today. It’s good to express it, to feel it, to live in it, and then to
    let go. what is that saying I love? “Let go, and Let GOD!!” How wonderful you gave that gift to Jesse. I hope you can take some pics so we can see his cool new digs! Much love and peace to you, Rachel!!

  4. Laura August 23, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    I’m so glad to have such a wonderfully strong example of “the letting go” so that I can learn how simply to do it when our time comes.


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